Q) I came back to you once again to ask for help for my children. Unfortunately, things seem very complicated since I’m not a citizen and I don’t work. Let me just write you these lines to explain the situation a little. I was married here in the USA unfortunately things got complicated when I found out about my husband’s infidelity and eventually we broke up. During the separation, yes, we wrote a letter ourselves with all the conditions in line with the well-being of the children. Unfortunately, my husband does not respect his conditions and I always run after him to get something for the children. Every time I let him know that I’m going to ask for help he tries to catch up because he told me and told me again, he doesn’t want me to do that. About 3-4 months ago he told me that he has problems with his job and that he cannot take care of all the charges for the apartment, so I made my decision to come see you. so that at least the children have something to eat. He tells me that he will not sign the letter showing that he pays the rent and the utilities because he does not believe in the food stamp. At the beginning when I came to see and I told him about it he told me that he will take care of all the charges but he does not do it because he cannot. Also since we are in Dallas, the children do not have insurance so that they go to be consulted, it is very complicated. I asked him several times that he apply for the insurance for the children he never did. I am in this situation because I believed in this marriage so I dropped everything for it. And now he refuses to ask for the immigration papers for me and he makes me run from left to right for a trifle. I’m tired of being his hostage because that’s how I feel. He doesn’t want me to have my independence and he doesn’t help me. It is very difficult to accept for someone who is not used to depending on a person. I feel bad when I can’t fix the smallest thing on my own. I ask you to help me because I feel that I do not deserve this situation. Please help me. If you can I will tell you everything in detail.
A) I’m really sorry to hear about the challenges you’re facing. It sounds like you’re dealing with a complex and difficult situation. While I can offer some general guidance, please keep in mind that I’m not a lawyer or a social worker, so it’s important to consult with professionals who can provide specific advice based on your circumstances.
- Legal Advice: Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to consult with an immigration attorney. They can provide guidance on your immigration status and options, especially if you’re seeking independence from your husband.
- Child Support and Custody: If your husband isn’t adhering to the conditions outlined in the separation agreement regarding child support, you might need to explore legal avenues to ensure your children’s well-being. Consult with a family law attorney who can advise you on your rights and options.
- Financial Assistance: If you’re in need of financial assistance to support your children, you might consider applying for government programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) for food stamps, and Medicaid for health insurance. These programs can provide some relief for your family’s basic needs.
- Healthcare for Children: If your children don’t have health insurance, you might want to look into the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), which provides affordable health coverage to children in low-income families.
- Mediation or Counseling: If communication with your husband is difficult, you could explore mediation or counseling services. These services can help facilitate discussions and potentially lead to better cooperation, especially when it comes to your children’s well-being.
- Local Support Services: Reach out to local community organizations and social services agencies in your area. They might be able to provide resources, support, and information tailored to your situation.
- Building Independence: While it might be challenging, working towards financial and emotional independence is important. Explore opportunities to build your skills, pursue education or employment, and gradually become less reliant on your husband’s support.
- Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is essential during challenging times. Seek emotional support from friends, family, or support groups, and consider talking to a mental health professional to help cope with the stress.
Remember, each situation is unique, and seeking professional advice from lawyers, social workers, and counselors who specialize in family and immigration matters is crucial. They can help guide you through the specific legal and personal aspects of your situation and provide you with the most accurate and tailored advice.